and his children grace the 49th anniversary May issue of Essence and inside the music mogul talks jumping into “mommy mode” after the untimely passing of , his longtime love and .
Opening his heart to, Diddy revealed his last moments with Porter, talked becoming a , and more. Here are some excerpts:
On Kim Porter’s Last Words To Him:
“She was unforgettable,” he told hampton, recalling the moment he realized she was gone. “That day turned my world upside down. Three days before she passed, she wasn’t feeling well. She had the flu, and she sent the kids over to my house so they wouldn’t get sick. One night I was checking on her, and she was like, ‘Puffy, take care of my babies.’ She actually said that to me before she died.”
On Kim’s Death:
“I jumped into mommy mode. I sent people in every direction to try to make sure the kids would not hear about it on social media or the news. I had to get to the girls’ school and find Quincy, who was onset in Atlanta. Christian was on a plane, and I had his phone disconnected so he wouldn’t read it in the air. Every time Kim and I talked, it was about the kids. It was what she cared about the most. We’d check in as friends, of course, but we never had a conversation that didn’t include the kids. It was like some superhero sh-t. I ain’t even gonna lie. On some level I knew she was training me for this. I knew that I had to be ready to do whatever I was supposed to do if something like this ever happened. There was screaming and crying when I heard the news, of course, but I had to ask myself, What would Kim do? I was scared, and I was crying out to God—and to her—and almost immediately Kim’s voice kicked in, and I could hear her saying, ‘Make sure you take care of my babies.’”
On Kim Accepting Diddy’s Daughter Chance, Who Was Born Just Weeks Before Her Twins:
“That betrayal really affected Kim. There were days I thought I may have lost my best friend,” he recalled. “The healing took time.” The glue that always bonded them together, Diddy insists, was trust.
“There was total trust,” Diddy told hampton. “Whenever I was around her, I felt as though God had his hand in it. I always felt like God had sent her. Nobody could love me the way she loved me, especially as, you know, as crazy as I acted. I mean, she loved me through some real s–t.”
On How He Has Changed As A Father Since Kim Passed:
“Before this, I was a part-time father, you know? My family was always first, but there are countless times when I chose work over everything else. But every day I can hear her telling me to go and spend some time with the kids and make sure everybody’s all right, like she would do. I’m just a lot more present, and, most important, now my kids come before anything else in my life.”
Get into the rest of the Essence cover story by clicking here, plus 47 photos of Diddy and all his children below — because, of course, Kim was 47 when she passed. May her beautiful soul rest in peace.